So this is part of a William update. He did not email me despite my hoping but I knew it was a long shot. That night and the night after it was a nice to feel pretty and popular. In LA, it is very rare for someone like me, who I consider myself to be perfectly average to stand out. Sometimes I think I'm so averagely average that it's boring. I've always felt like that. I even mentioned it once to a friend in high school and he turned to me and said "Do you know how many people would probably love to feel average?" And then it took some years and I realized that I have moments of averageness but in the grand scheme of things I am not average and it's a roller coaster of being on my A-game and sometimes not. But this is my long winded intro to the following post:
Sometimes I feel that when I'm feeling really down about not meeting any guys I get these signs like my nights in London that kind of tell me to hold on, the person I'm supposed to be with is coming soon, don't give up yet and he'll be there. But when?! My friend Janet and some other people have accused me of being either too picky or not picky enough. But you know what? I'm picky because I know what I want. And when I met William and talked to him I recognized that this is what I want. He was smart, really smart, worldly, gentlemanly, interesting, interested and I found him to be really sexy mostly because he was so smart and smarter than most people I know. OH and he loved banter. He made it a point to point it out. And I love banter and we could have had adorable banter together if the music hadn't been so loud. And was he the person I am supposed to end up with? Probably not because I wouldn't be writing this post if that was the case. However, I recognized what I wanted when I saw him. The problem is I don't meet many men that fit into what I like.
How hard is it to find someone that fits what you are looking for? Apparently the hardest thing in the world. But I'm ready. I am ready to meet someone. This trip has been years in the making. I have done the partying, the going out, the socializing I should have been doing when I was in my early 20s but do to an emotional stunted growth period, I waited until now. True, I am a little behind when it comes to some life experiences but I've had more than enough to make up for the ones that I am only now having. Am I doing it all a little backwards? Probably. But I think I can recognize it more now and reflect on it as an older person. But now that I have those life experiences that other people have, going abroad, being abroad and experiencing life abroad I am now ready to meet someone and have different types of experiences.
Friends reading this, if you have an idea that I am asking to be set up with any random guy. I AM NOT! I know that when this idea pops into your head you find some random guy but that only shows me that either A) you hate me because they turn out to be losers or B) you don't know me at all and both cause me to be sad and upset at you. I would only set you up because I have put some serious thought into it and think you and this other person would hit it off. Please show me the same courtesy. Put some thought into it.
I have come to the realization that currently, that I surround myself with men who offer me a little bit of what I want from the person I am supposed to be with so together, parts of all the men in my life morph into my perfect guy but only one comes close. And even then he's missing some things. Up until this point though, I have been comfortable to settle with my male friends making up for what I am missing. But no more. I am ready to go out into the world and let my guard down....I just need to meet the right guy to let my guard down.
Everyone tells me he's out there....but I think he missed his train, plane, boat and car.
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