Keep your numbers to yourself

Every Tuesday morning there are weekly staff meetings. I used to hate Tuesday mornings because of these meetings. The meetings were spent with each person updating the group on what they were working on (even if it was part of their job description that they always did) but in the form of numbers. “We issued out 105 packages this week. On Monday we issued out 22, Tuesday, 34, etc., etc.” As someone that generally hates meetings, I could not understand why everything was broken down into numbers. I know the front desk staff work, I know the students work, I know that packages come in and packages go out. I necessarily do not need to know how many come and go, nor do I care. If we are going to talk about it, then at least present a problem that maybe we should discuss as a group or tell me a story about a lost package. Other than that, keep your numbers to yourself.

Due to a busy week a few weeks ago, I was allowed to come to the meeting late so I could update….you guessed it, so I could update our numbers. I had the opportunity to work on our wait list numbers during the meeting so I could update them during the meeting. I walked in and made my weekly update of how many applications we had received, how many contracts I had received and how many people were still on the wait list. A few minutes later, someone was updating the team on their numbers when the director interrupted them to tell me “Oh, you can go back to your desk.” WOW. I was insulted but pleasantly pleased at the same time. You could have told me before “just come in to announce the numbers and then you can get back to work.” But he did not need to basically dismiss me in front of everyone while interrupting someone else. I just found that to be petty and unprofessional. 

The director and I did not get along. I was in favor of not replicating the work that I had already done and throwing out/shredding the things that I no longer needed. The director was very particular apparently on how things were handled in the office. Once I received a contract in the mail, I was told to keep the empty envelopes and that they would also be filed away with the contracts. WHY? Those files are packed so full in the filing cabinet that not only do I rip my cuticles but so do the student staff that are in and out of them much more often than I am. Once the students checked the envelopes, I double checked them to make sure a check wasn’t left behind before I moved it in a bin to be thrown out. Too bad they notified me of this policy a couple days after I started tossing the envelopes out. I apologized and said, “of course. I’ll keep them here (pointing to a box on the floor of the ones I was about to throw out) and take care of them later.” They are still in a couple of boxes under my desk to be filed. 

The next Tuesday I heard the two ladies outside my office getting ready to go to the meeting 10 minutes early. The meeting is about 25 feet away so I thought it was odd that they were leaving so early. But then I dismissed it thinking that maybe they were going to get coffee or maybe they were going to set up something for the meeting. “Oh well,” I thought to myself, “I’ll finish this then go.” With my coffee in hand, I walked into the conference room to find it completely empty. I asked the student staff “are we not meeting?” And they replied “oh, everyone went to the student union center for the meeting.” And sure enough behind me, everyone BUT me was signed out of the building as going to the student union center.  They all ditched me. In an office of adults that are all respectively older than me, I was ditched and no one cared to tell me. I used that time to catch up with everything I needed to do so I was grateful.

The week after that, before the meeting I asked my immediate supervisor, (not the director that had dismissed me the first time) if I had to still go to the meetings. He told me “the consensus is that your time would be better spent than doing contracts.” Well sir, I agree with you there and can catch up on a lot during the meetings. So while everyone is out of the office, I sneak around the office like James Bond moving the envelopes that the contracts were mailed in to the bin to be shredded. Now I look forward to Tuesday morning meetings. Peaking around corners and tip toeing around to throw out envelopes makes my Tuesday mornings more interesting and still allows me to yes take care of those envelopes under my desk.

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

At my retail job, I like watching and interacting with couples registering for their wedding. Let me clarify. I like watching couples that I think will make it register for their wedding. I feel that the couples that come in excited, with a smile on their face and spend hours in the store picking out items for their life together will have the tenacity to stay together. They don't need to be all over each other, they don't have to physically touch, or be verbally lovey dovey. I think the only thing they need is to enjoy spending time together, even if it's doing the most mundane tasks...like picking out silverware, they just have to enjoy each other.

"Could my son come by and visit and try and woo you?"

A mom called me very anxious and panic stricken to ask about the status of her youngest son attending the university. She self-diagnosed herself as a “chronic-panicer” and “constant-worrier”. Her youngest son is to be freshmen and applied after the deadline for priority housing.  She explained that she already had an older son attending the university and was already in housing.

The overly anxious mom began asking me a series of questions to where I have stock piled answers because they are the same questions I’ve been getting asked for the last month. Because I tend to know which questions will be asked, I tend to include additional information in the hopes that I will answer their question before they ask it. In the middle of every answer I was giving her, she would interrupt me and say “ok, so let me ask you another question.” STOP interrupting me and I will answer your question. I was JUST getting to that.

After all was said and done, she was not happy that her son was in the 400s on the waiting list. I tried my best to calm her down. But do you know how difficult it is to calm down a chronic-panicer? She was making me nervous and I was the one that was almost positive that he would get a spot later down the line. She asked me, “if you were talking to your mom right now, how would you tell her to proceed?” And I responded with “I would tell my mom to calm down and let’s just wait until we see how many people return their contracts and how many more contracts will be offered before I start thinking about other options.” And believe me, I’ve said similar things to my mom. I am that person that will wait to get all the information in front of me and then make a decision. I find it ridiculous to make decisions before all the facts are known. She then physically had to calm herself down and said “yeah, we’ll just have to see what happens next week.” 

Then, this very anxious, nerve-wracked mom asked if there was anything else she could do. “No, I will send you an email on the 21^st updating you of everything.” “You know Elizabeth, my oldest son lives on campus still. Would it be worth him coming to visit you? You know, he’s very cute. Could he possibly come visit you and perhaps try to woo you ? You know, maybe bring you some baked goods. He’s a good looking guy.” WHAT? Was this mom seriously trying to pimp out her son to me? That was a very BOLD gesture and she must have thought of this before to have mentioned it at the top of her head in that moment so easily. “Uh, no. It’s ok. I have good faith that your younger son will be getting a contract and that is not necessary. And I’m not a baked goods kind of girl but I do really like Starbucks while we are on the subject.” “Ok Elizabeth, that is very good to know. I look forward to hearing from you next week.”  “Yes, we will talk next week, and please do not pimp out your son to anyone ever again. Have a great day.”

Baristas and morning meetings

When I first started working at my new university, my the mornings were chilly and my office was even colder. I would stop on my way to work to get a Starbucks, an upside down caramel macchiato, and drive into work and sip on my coffee quietly throughout the morning. One day, I was extremely hungry and walked into a little market in the morning to get something to eat. The barista inside told me that he could make anything that Starbucks could make. And I told him I would take him up on that challenge and the next day I gave him the chance. I asked him for an upside down caramel macchiato. He tried his best. He really did....but as he watched me try his creation, I could barely stop my face from betraying the bitterness I tasted inside that coffee cup. However, the little market was so boring, and so quiet that the next day I had to go back to keep him from dying of boredom and if not to give him a second chance at the coffee making. And then it dawned on me, if my little barista was so bored and lonely, he could make the drinks exactly how I wanted. He had the time, and the sweet vibe to devote to my particular coffee tastes. So the next day, I went in and offered a suggestion on how I would like my coffee and he did it for me. At times, it was as if I had my own personal barista because no one would come in and he had all the time in the world to experiment with things that I liked or would want to try. Sometimes he reminds me of the guy in the movie Amelie, that is a little off and takes his time picking out the perfect fruits for the customers. My little barista attempts little bar tricks and puts on a show. He is such a character that I walk away with a smile on my face and ready to come back the next morning to watch his performance. It is pretty awesome.

Our conversations grew from coffee to work and life. He found out that I worked in Housing and he asked me specifically "do you get asked a lot of stupid questions?" Me? Asked stupid questions? Only everyday of my life. Each day I bring him a new question or a new story. After a week of not visiting him today was my first day back. It was as if he was waiting for me. He gave me a list of stupid questions he gets asked as a psychology major. This was a new step in our barista/customer relationship.

Even though I didn't get coffee everyday, I used to make sure to get a coffee from my barista every Tuesday for a weekly 2.5 hour meeting. I am not a meeting person, especially when I am on a temp assignment and much of the information in the other 2.25 hours of the meeting do not concern me. During the meeting I drew little doodles to keep myself awake. Coming from another university's housing department I would offer suggestions on what my old university did to perhaps help the new department out. My suggestions were often taken with a nod and with a tone of "let's move on." A couple of weeks ago with my warm coffee in hand, I walked into the conference room late due to working and updating some lists to report the most accurate information. Right after my update, the director asked me to leave and go back to my desk and work. Uh, awkward but very grateful because I had a lot of work to do. The next week, again with my coffee in hand, I walk into the conference room to find it completely empty. The student workers informed me that everyone had gone to the meeting at the student union center. Did that mean if no one told me about the meeting that I didn't have to go? The students all agreed and I was able to catch up on a lot of work. The next week, I asked my supervisor "so since last week I wasn't told about the meeting, does that mean I don't have to go anymore?" My supervisor, who I have a lot of respect for told me "yeah, the consensus is that you should focus on license agreements." I was insulted but pleased at the same time that I no longer was required to attend these pointless meetings where one topic lasted an hour. I have never had to bite my tongue so hard and for so long and keep myself restrained from sharing my thoughts, ideas and acknowledgements as I am during these meetings. I understood the body language from the director that my ideas were not welcomed and I was only here to work. On that note, as it is Tuesday, I will get back to enjoying the silence, my coffee and the company of the student workers around me.

An update after Europe

After I returned from Europe (which I still have posts and thoughts I never finished writing about) I began a job hunt, well more like a career hunt since I had my master's degree and was looking for something permanent. A week of unemployment turned into two,  and two turned into a couple of months. To pass the time, I interviewed and got a job at a retail store for the Christmas season and have now become a permanent fixture until I can find something better suited for me. During the Christmas season the job was fun, fast-paced and always something going on. After Christmas, I never realized what a drag retail was. Now I understood why when you walked into a store so many people greeted you...it's not because they want to provide you with great customer service, or necessarily work off commission...it is because they are truly bored. I would spend my slow days DYING for someone to talk to me. It didn't matter about what, as long as you spoke to me and we had a conversation about anything besides glass, I was the happiest kid in the world. And now when I go into other retail stores on a slow day, I wonder if those poor retail associates would appreciate a conversation as much as I would or if I should leave them to be lost in their thoughts.

Towards the end of my seasonal employment, I received a call from a temp agency asking me if I would be interested in working at another university in the Southern California area. I jumped at the opportunity! Especially since resume upon resume had been sent out and interview upon interview had started to take it's course on me and my self-esteem. However, the caveat was that it was in Housing. I left another university with the clear purpose of "I just don't want to do housing anymore" but I took the job since I would be contracted to work six months and it would provide me with the opportunity to apply for jobs outside of customer service and housing. I started in March and have been at my post for almost 2 months. One of the good things about my position is that I am learning another aspect of Housing such as contracting and room assignments that I did not have the opportunity to learn in my previous position. I also get to work with a new batch of students, and get to work with other student demographics that I had not had the opportunity to work with in the past. So all in all, I am gaining a new perspective and new experiences with this job. However, much of the politics are the same between this university and my old university. And some of the politics are new, so new and so absent mindedly crazy that it makes me miss my old university, old supervisor and old director and trust me, that is nothing I ever thought I would say. And those that have known me long enough, never thought I would miss my old university or department either.

At my previous university, with the exception of one, it took me a long time to get to know my co-workers. And I learned, years too late, that I am bad at small talk. I am not good at they "hey good morning, how was your weekend?" routine that Monday mornings bring. My old co-workers understood that, recognized that and acknowledged my presence but did not pressure me to indulge them with the boring details of my life. Here, at this university, I do not have that luxury. I have to sit at attention while people tell me about their weekends with their kids and their families while my answer to every question about my weekend is "Fine. I just worked at my other job." I know each place is different, and I have to mold myself to fit into my surroundings but I miss the role of being the knowledgeable wallflower that I once was at a university long ago.